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April 05, 2007

Minoes

The Paws of Fate

By Casey

My Parents have a cat named Al. He is a fat, lazy, smug animal who constantly judges the way I live my life. I didn't always hate Al, there was a time we were the best of friends. I remember watching TV together with a trust unprecedented in my adolescence. But, as fate would have it, somewhere around my nineteenth birthday I developed a debilitating allergy to him and his kind, limiting our once endless visits to around ten minutes. Any longer and my eyes would burn like a secret bong hit in a high school bathroom. Needless to say, my new handicap drove a wedge into our friendship.

Later that year, I tricked a girl into dating me. I wasn't around the house as much and Al felt the loss. I can only speculate that this void is what sparked his resentment and nurtured his cunning, hateful character. For the next year an underlying tension colored my life at my otherwise welcoming parent's home. I would dare a smile to my lost friend, the squatting animal across the room, and would be met with a cold stare. There is a point in situations like this, when emotions are high, where we all do things we regret. I'd like to think Al regrets what he did on my twentieth birthday, when our tension finally came to a searing head.

For the record, I didn't hate Al; rather, I didn't understand who Al truly was, until my family was crowded around an illuminated cake in our dimly lit suburban kitchen. Joined in song, celebrating my twenty years of perseverance, this was truly my day. A time I didn't have to share with anyone, or so I thought. As my adoring family was rounding the final verse, in which they solidify their love for me and the miracle of my birth, there came a retching sound from the adjacent dining room. There, in the doorway, was Al, throwing up what was left of his "fancy" feast. The lights shot on and my mother and father immediately went to his aid, leaving the final lyrics of the birthday song up to yours truly. "It's Ok, Al" they cooed with a few loving pets, "Casey, can (sic) you wet a towel?" my mom frantically asked. "I'll just use these napkins" I assured her, referring to the pile designated for my cake. "Right, better not to dirty a towel."

Minoes (Aka Undercover Kitty) is a children's movie from the Netherlands. And it too is a story about a cat and a man. Except this cat becomes human and helps a bumbling reporter get stories. Everything is going great until the pair uncover the wrong secret about a local cat-hating philanthropist. Minoes doesn't punish its owner for growing up, or even act the least bit passive aggressive.

I give this my worst rating ever: two paws down.

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